I do not care about your opinion!

     I had an old friend over last night and I was determined to not fall back into the people pleaser I used to be. Actually, that came up in conversation. I said that people, including her, used to talk to me like I was stupid and that I would no longer tolerate that.

    From this meeting, this blog post was born. I want to give my thoughts on How I am versus how I used to be. I used to care so much what people thought of me. So much that I can't say I even knew who I was. Let me put this in a letter format addressed to my past friends (and so-called family).

Dear Past,

        As I sit in this room in a shared house with four strangers that don't consider me the way I have considered them (noise and fair use related), cooking in this room and washing up in my en-suite sink, wearing headphones all the time so I don't hear their pretty much constant noise, working a job for very little just because I can't currently afford a car and lonely as fuck, I am left wondering why I cared so much about your opinion. Where did that get me? I'll tell you. It got me back to the beginning but with the wisdom that comes with realising some of life's deeper lessons.

    Your opinions do not pay my bills. Your opinions are not paying off the debt that I ended up with through a relationship I feel I had no escape from (but thankfully I did. Your opinions are not getting me the life I really want. So tell me, why should I continue to give a shit about your opinion? Stop giving me advice, you are not living the life I want. Stop talking to me like you're an expert on anything that is not you because you are not an expert, you just have knowledge that I may or may not have. Do not assume I don't have it.

    Not giving a flying fuck about your opinion does not mean I cannot enjoy your company, but I now have boundries that will not budge. I will not bend to create space in my life for you and I would not expect that of you. If it feels difficult without the feeling of forward motion then I am out. I won't make a song and dance about it, I will just let god handle it.

                                                                Thank you for your time xxxx

    Now I turn to you, the reader. Are you letting others walk all over you? If the answer is yes then I need to tell you that you're the one letting them. Once this is realised then you gain the power to change things. If you are stuck blaming them then you are just making your life harder. This doesn't take away their responsibility but rather, it gives you a quick way to change this. Once you start changing, and yes, you do need to change, you will soon start to see change in the outside world. It is ok to tell someone you don't like how they speak to you or treat you but if you continue to let it happen then it will continue to happen. Ever heard the phrase "action speaks louder than words"?

    The best way to implement change within oneself is to start off small, the smaller the better,  and just keep making those teeny tiny little changes to yourself. These seemingly pointless little changes will compound and the transformation of your persona will get faster and faster and the change in the outside world will do the same. Don't expect instant results, in fact, I recommend taking as little notice of the outside world as you can (this gets easier over time). The more you focus on the unwanted to more unwanted happens. This I have witnessed in my own life. Contemplation from time to time is fine, but dwelling is not going to bring about positive results.

    I will leave it there and wish you well on your journey through life. Just remember you have far more control than you have been lead to believe but the trick is figuring out what you have control over. here's the secret... its you.

Where is our species heading?

     I live in a shared house and on Friday a new housemate moved in. Sadly another really young person but I didn't want to judge too soon. She seems pleasant enough, quite chirpy and full of life which may help the energy of the house, but, last night she got on two bandwagons that really show a person's low level of intelligence and lived experience. These are "I studied..." (meaning they actually paid for the privilege of not having to make the decision on what books to read rather than actual study) and misusing the word "gender" which seemingly is the done thing now.

    Let me start with gender. Gender is masculine and feminine. It is unfortunate that they are similar to male and female as they do not mean these. This brings me on to men and women (it doesn't mean these either) which has become open for debate. When a pregnancy has passed a certain stage we can know the sex of a child which is known as a girl or a boy, not male or female. Girl once passed the age which takes you into adulthood (different in various countries) becomes a woman and the same goes for boys becoming men. This has always been known as sex. Now, back to gender. Everything in existence has both masculine and feminine aspects in equal quantities because things like emotions are feminine and thinking is masculine. Everything we do is a balance of the two.

    I think the thing that really makes me weep for my own species is that so many people need that confrontation and cannot grasp that we are part of the animal kingdom. What should also be known is that if we should die out (which we will because of this idiotic drive towards absurdity and disruption of the natural order) it will have no negative consequences on the rest of the natural world, actually, it would be positive give how we have been treating it.

    I do not live as a perfect being, I do things that cause harm, but I try to hold space for those who think differently. What gets to me is when I am not shown the same respect. I am a factual person and the only times I give my feelings is when I state that they are my feelings.

    We should aslo understand that the spoken/written language is made up sounds that we have attached meanings to. Many words have different meanings based on culture and even family dynamics.

    We are heading for dark times and quite possibly the end of our existence since we can just understand the basics of procreation. If this is discovered by the next species, probably machine based, please know that we weren't all stupid morons. Best of luck xx